woooow.... 

Yes I know, I'm a big fruitcake.  This makes me happy though.  Doesn't help that I'm OCD either.  Man, where was I when all this good broadway stuff was going on? 

How Come, How Long

There was a girl I used to know
She was oh so beautiful
But she's not here anymore
She had a college degree
Smart as anyone could be
She had so much to live for
But she fell in love
With the wrong kinda man
He abused her love and treated her so bad
There was not enough education in her world
That could save the life of this little girl

How come, how long
It's not right, it's so wrong
Do we let it just go on
Turn our backs and carry on
Wake up, for it's too late
Right now, we can't wait
She won't have a second try
Open up your hearts
As well as your eyes

She tried to give a cry for help
She even blamed things on herself
But no one came to her aid
Nothing was wrong as far as we could tell
That's what we'd like to tell ourselves
But no, it wasn't that way
So she fell in love
With the wrong kinda man
And she paid with her life
For loving that man
So we cannot ignore
We must look for the signs
And maybe next time
We might save somebody's life

I on occasion met that guy
He stirred up bad feelings deep inside
Something about him wasn't right
The way he proves himself a man
By beatin' his woman with his hands
Oh I wish she'd seen the light
How can someone like that
Call himself a man
In reality he's far more less than that
And we cannot ignore
Whenever we see the signs
'Cause any kinda of abuse
God knows is a crime

 -- Babyface & Stevie Wonder

Long time ago, I learned you can't help those who don't want to help themselves.  Yet, it's hard not to feel like you failed them - regardless of whether or not anything could have been done.  It's so easy to pass off the guilt, blame the situation.  If only this.  If only that.  Inevitably, I lost a friendship that was dear to me.  I still hurt everytime I think about her. 

so what really matters in the end? 

With all these natural disasters going on - it's hard not to wonder if the world is ending.  People are getting killed off in various ways and a large number of those who survived are absolutely miserable - and will be for a pretty long time.  Then there's the random bird flu thing threatening the rest of the healthy people...the arctic circle is thawing...

If there's a God, he must be extremely extremely extremely pissed off at humankind. 

In our beloved country:

"48% of people ages 15-54 will have a lifetime psychiatric illness or Substance Use Disorder."

"14% will have lifetime alcohol dependence and 8% will have lifetime drug dependence."

"Nicotine is responsible for 400,000 deaths/yr and alcohol is responsible for 100,000 deaths/yr."

Addicted people don't use drugs (includes smoking/alcohol) for pleasure.  It starts out with pleasure seeking but in the end, the whole drug experience isn't even pleasurable anymore.  When you're smoking a pack a day, you don't get the rush anymore.  You're just burning your lungs out for compulsive reasons.  When you're drunk all the time, you can't possibly be "having fun" puking and passing out. 

So what's the deal?~! 

Essentially addicted smokers/drinkers/drug-users are just trying to help themselves - medical field calls it "self-medication."  Although the problems are social, mental, attitudinal -- in a hopeless attempt to reduce the pain, people try to intervene in the most basic biological pathways. 

In this attempt to "help" themselves or make it all go away, people end up physically dying from it.  Though, the spiritual, emotional, and mental dying probably started long before. 

There's got to be a better way.